Freestyle Friday: Recorded on Labor Day, Built for Your Future
Welcome to Freestyle Friday. Uncut, unedited, and unscripted.
I am recording this on Labor Day morning, taking a short break from my “must get it done today” list. One of those tasks is cleaning my office. Right now it looks like a disaster zone, and I barely feel comfortable walking into it. So that will get handled today.
As I sat here, I realized there were two big topics I wanted to cover:
The reality behind my recent TEDx talk
What I have learned in the two years since leaving my corporate job to build a life by design
Both are about betting on yourself, doing the hard things, and accepting that nobody is coming to create your dream life for you.
You have to do that part.
The TEDx Journey: Thirteen Applications, One Yes
Last weekend I had the opportunity to fly to Baltimore, Maryland and deliver my first TEDx talk. That experience had been a goal of mine for several years.
My team and I submitted 13 TEDx applications.
We were rejected by 12.
We received one yes.
That is all you need.
Once we were accepted, the real work began. I quickly realized that the TEDx format was going to be the most difficult talk I have ever given.
Why TEDx Is a Different Kind of Challenge
Here is what makes TEDx different from most of the stages I speak on:
They are very strict about what you can and cannot say.
They want you to stick very closely to a specific script.
You do not get to rely on slides or visuals while you are on stage.
You step on stage without an introduction, deliver your idea, and then simply say “thank you.”
In most of my talks, I use:
Bullet points as anchors
Slides to guide flow and pacing
The energy of the room to shape my delivery
Awareness of who spoke before me and what the audience still needs
TEDx removed almost all of that. It was just me, the script, and the clock.
The Long Wait and the Moment Everything Went Blank
We arrived at the venue around 10:45 a.m. I was not scheduled to go on stage until 3:50 p.m.
That is a long time to sit with your thoughts.
My friend Greg Matthews surprised me by showing up the night before. Logan, who travels with me and captures content, was with us as well. We sat for hours in a small gym-style room that felt like one of those old school cafeterias with a stage at the end. About a hundred people in the audience. Somewhere between 15 and 20 speakers on the lineup.
I was second to last.
Throughout the day I kept listening to my script on audio, reviewing it in my head, and rehearsing to make sure I would deliver as much value as possible.
Around three o’clock I told the guys, “I am going to step out to the car and run through it out loud.”
I sat in the car. Took a breath. Started to speak.
And then my mind went completely blank.
No opening line.
No transitions.
No key phrases.
Nothing.
For a moment, I seriously considered walking back inside, telling the guys we were leaving, and pulling myself from the event. I felt unprepared, mentally locked up, and frustrated.
How Breath Work Helped Me Reset
Instead of quitting, I decided to reset.
I stopped.
Closed my eyes.
Did some breath work to calm the anxiety and regain control.
I told myself, “If I cannot get this out on the next run, I am done. If I can, I am going on that stage.”
The next run came out well enough. Not perfect, but good enough. So I committed to the talk.
On Stage: Eighty Percent Script, Twenty Percent Freestyle
When it was finally my turn, I stepped onto the TEDx stage with about 80 percent of the talk memorized. The last 20 percent became a blend of structure and freestyle.
The important thing:
The audience never knew.
One thing formal speaker training teaches is this: when you lose your place, do not fill the space with filler words like “um,” “uh,” or “you know.” Instead, pause.
A powerful, intentional pause:
Gives you time to think
Keeps the audience engaged
Builds tension and curiosity
During the TEDx talk, I used those pauses to gather my thoughts and remember what came next. To the audience, it felt deliberate. To me, it was necessary.
Afterwards, multiple people came up and said things like:
“The way you paused and drew us in was very powerful.”
“You had the room on the edge of their seats.”
They did not realize I was pausing because I was not completely sure what the next line was supposed to be.
That is the beauty of repetition and stage experience. Over time, you learn to handle those moments without panicking.
The Real Win: It Was Done
What I enjoyed most was not just the compliments. It was the feeling of completion.
It felt like a massive burden had been lifted. I had wanted to do a TEDx for years, and now it was done. I learned what it takes. I learned how different it is. And I learned what I would do differently if I ever choose to do another one.
The talk is titled “Reimagine Adversity.” Once the video is released, we will share it on YouTube and build a podcast episode around it so you can watch it and draw your own takeaways.
Beyond the content, TEDx is also a strategic move. Having TEDx on my speaking résumé opens doors. People notice. It strengthens credibility and gives us more opportunities to start conversations about future events and stages.
Two Years Since I Left Corporate: Betting 100 Percent on Myself
The other big milestone tied to this Freestyle Friday is this:
It has been two years since I left my corporate job.
Two years since I decided to bet 100 percent on myself and build my coaching and speaking business full-time.
From previous experiences, I knew something about myself:
When my back is against the wall, I perform well.
I tend to rise under pressure, not collapse.
This is not about ego or bragging. It is about telling the truth.
When I commit fully and remove the safety net, I push harder, think clearer, and execute better. That self-awareness is part of what gave me the courage to walk away from the “security” of corporate life.
It also helps to have a wife who is my biggest supporter, who believes in me, and who backs the vision we are building together.
Coaching: The Shortcut You Cannot Afford to Ignore
One of the biggest lessons from these two years is this:
Coaching is not a luxury. It is a requirement if you want to grow in a new space.
If you are not being coached, you need to find a way to get coached.
That might start with:
YouTube videos
Podcasts
Books and virtual mentors
But if you want to compress time and accelerate your results, you eventually need real, direct coaching.
My coaches have helped me:
Shorten the time it takes to figure things out
Avoid mistakes that would have cost me years
Clarify my message and offers
Move faster than I ever would have on my own
I believe I am ahead of schedule compared to where most people in my space are two years into their coaching and speaking business. Coaching is a major reason why.
The Hard Truth: Most People Will Not Help You Get Where You Want To Go
This next part may challenge you a bit.
Over the last couple of years, I have reached out to multiple people who work in the same coaching and speaking space I do. People I respected. People I thought would be willing to help.
I asked for things like:
Introductions to event organizers
Recommendations for stages
A quick “You two should know each other” text
What I discovered is this:
Most people are happy to say they will help.
Very few follow through when it matters.
The unspoken message I often receive is:
“If I help you, that might be one less opportunity for me.”
Most people want to see you win, as long as you are not winning more than they are. As long as your success does not compete with their own.
That has been disheartening at times, especially coming from people I genuinely admired.
Why I Still Choose to Help Anyway
That experience will not change who I am.
If you are in my circle and you ask for help, an introduction, or a connection, and I can provide it without harming my family, I will do everything I can for you.
I am the person who:
Sends a DM connecting two people who need to know each other
Fires off a text saying, “You two should collaborate”
Smiles when I later see them doing a webinar, a joint venture, or a project together
I do that often without anyone asking, and without feeling like those opportunities “should” have been mine.
However, one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is this:
You cannot rely on other people to open doors for you.
You need to build your own path.
Most people will support you as long as it does not cost them anything. You must be prepared to do the work yourself, even when others say they will help and then disappear.
Life By Design: The Real Win Behind All the Highlights
Leaving corporate life and starting my business has created something more valuable than any logo, title, or highlight reel.
It has allowed me to live a life by design.
Here is what that looks like for me:
I work from home in my own office.
I stack most of my coaching calls on specific days.
Mondays are reserved for working on my business, not just in it.
Fridays are increasingly structured as strategy in the morning, and family time after.
The other days are built around growth, connection, and service.
Most importantly, my son is in the other room most days, playing in the family room. On the days my wife is at her practice, the nanny is with him. On other days, my wife is there.
When I hear him laugh, struggle, or call out, I can walk out of my office and be there.
That is the win.
Yes, in the last year we have:
Become an international bestselling author
Appeared on a Times Square billboard
Coached incredible clients at a high level
Worked with the U.S. Olympic team
Supported a strong local high school football program
Delivered multiple keynotes
Completed a TEDx talk
Been invited to Battle of the Coaches at the NAM event in Las Vegas
All of that matters. I am grateful for it.
But the most valuable part of all of it is this:
I get to spend more time with my son than I ever could have in my old life.
I have seen him almost every day of his life, except for a limited number of travel days. I can step in when he needs help. I can be present for the small moments, not just the big ones.
That is the definition of success for me.
Looking Ahead: Intentional Growth and Intentional Family Time
Looking toward 2026, I plan to be even more intentional.
My goals include:
Capping speaking engagements at around 20 per year
Attending only one or two conferences annually that I am not speaking at
Traveling less, not more
Being extremely intentional about the clients we choose to work with
Prioritizing family and impact over volume and noise
The vision is not “more for the sake of more.” It is more aligned, not just more busy.
Your Turn: Design the Life You Actually Want
If you are reading this and you are not happy with what you are doing right now, I want to challenge you:
Sit down and get clear.
Where do you actually want to be?
What do you want your days to look like?
What kind of freedom do you want?
Start working your way toward that vision.
One decision at a time
One conversation at a time
One risk at a time
No one is going to design it for you.
No one is going to show up and hand you the perfect opportunity.
Very few people will recommend you for the next big step.
You have to chase your own dreams.
Stop putting all your energy into helping everyone else get rich and free while you stay stuck. You are here once. That is it.
I am turning 53 in ten days. I am well past halftime. My goal is to spend the rest of my life being intentional, impactful, and fully aligned with the life I want to live.
You can do the same.
Go out and create your life by design today.
